BT News

September 13, 2019

Top 10 Jokes For Accountants And Financial Professionals

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Working in accounting and other finance positions can be stressful. It’s important to stay in a good mindset and maintain your sense of humor in order to be your most productive self. Here we’ve compiled our top ten jokes for accountants and financial professionals.

1.  How does an accountant stay out of debt? He learns to act his wage.

2.  An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” he says. “Have you tried counting sheep?” asks the doctor. “That’s the problem — I make a mistake and then spend six hours trying to find it.”

3.  How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many did it take last year?

4.  Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.

5.  What Does an Accountant Say When You Ask Him the Time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……

6.  You might be an Accountant if…

you refer to your child as Deduction 214.

you deduct Exlax as “Moving expenses”.

you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.

at the move Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.

getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.

your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.

you are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it last year.

you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline “======”.

7.  Why did the accountant fall off his bed? They didn’t have a balance sheet.

8.  ‘I have bad news and worse news …’

… a financial adviser says to his client.

“Which would you like to hear first?”

“The bad news,” the client says.

“All your money will be gone in 24 hours.”

“Oh my gosh,” the client says. “What’s the worse news?”

“I should have made this call yesterday.”

9.  Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn’t be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking.”

10.  There are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.

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